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May 23 2017

ariso
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FINALLY SOMEONE TELLS IT LIKE IT IS.
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relateable
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srgtibbs:

Youve angered the great deku tree

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queenoftheantz:

We had an interaction assignment, and GUESS WHAT I DID!!!

konakoro:

When you think you were doing all the right choices but get the bad end anyways

image
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mightbeinsaneforever:

reynabcth:

princessfailureee:

grffindors:

do you ever get so annoyed at everything that you start to get pissed off at even little things like a spoon clinking against a bowl or sounds of people talking  

I think it’s called sensory overload. It’s really common in people with anxiety

it can also be a result of sleep deprivation, stress, or ever dehydration !!

thanks i thought i was just a bitch

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It's getting out of hand.
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prosthetical:

pati79:

nuttyrabbit:

outragedbird:

theofficialvincenzo:

countess7:

buggery-approved:

whatswrongwithblue:

toshio-the-starman:

onyx-san:

siddharthasmama:

angel-with-a-flower-crown:

maggiemunkee:

ultrafacts:

Source If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts

I read an anecdote from someone whose African Grey didn’t particularly get along with her Amazon parrot, Paco. One night she was preparing cornish hens for dinner, while the grey hung out with her in the kitchen. He got a closer look at one of the hens, looked his mama dead in the eyes and asked, “Paco?” Then he laughed.

that is one sadistic bird 

I am slightly afraid now.

I love birds?

African Grey Parrots are one of the smartest birds, and seems they can be known to play “jokes” or “pranks” on their owners or any visitors.

I was visiting a friend of the family one time and I was just casually watching tv when I thought I heard the water running. I go into the kitchen but everything’s fine. the parrot looks at me and says “gotcha”.

Parrots are awesome.

I have an African Grey named Loki and he lives up to his name.

He likes to scream and mimic the sounds of things falling off the shelf and when we run into the room to see what’s happening he says “The cat did it! Bad Sammy!” and laughs.

Whenever he gets mad at me he flies away from me, but since he can’t fly very well, he always crash lands. And the first thing he says when I go to pick him up, without fail, is always “You need to vacuum,” in a very bitter grumble. 

Loki likes to call our cat to him. He’ll sit there for minutes saying “here kitty kitty kitty.” The cat will come, walk up to the bird, get bit and then Loki will laugh as the cat screams and runs away. This goes on for hours. 

If it’s late at night and he’s tired, but I’m still up with the lights on, he’ll say “Loki go night night.” It’s starts of in a normal tone and then gets louder and louder until he’s screaming “LOKI GO NIGHT NIGHT!” 

If he sees my dad fall asleep, he screams like a little girl to scare my dad awake. And then laughs. He’s kind of perfected that evil laugh.

But the best one was when I brought home the man who has since become my ex for the first time, Loki looked him dead in the eyes and said “I’m going to bite you.” My parrot was the first one to see what a bad person my ex. He was smarter than us all. 

Parrots are people.

@oneshortdamnfuse

African Greys are like the greatest animal on the planet

When I was a kid, we had a rescued african grey called Dodi, and once I was arguing with my mum about my bed time, and the parrot (who had some very foul mouthed previous owners) just shouted at me “for fuck sake go to bed!”

also whenever we hoovered he’d call us “yoooou dusty cunts”

best thing was he had a scottish accent

Reblogging for Scottish swearing parrot

I almost died choked with a piece of cake because of the last one.

@farragoofwires

ariso
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buthavenotlove:

muppetymels:

Teaching kindergarten is like being an ambassador to beings from another planet and teaching them how to assimilate to our culture.
“No, we do not LICK water fountains. Perhaps that is acceptable on your planet, but here on earth we prefer to DRINK from water fountains.”
“Physics might be a little different on your planet, but here when you throw things they typically fall and break.”
“Grabbing people and shaking them violently is not considered a proper greeting on this planet.”

This is real.

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